Not Your Regular Bystander

Sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual advances, request for sexual favours, and other visual, verbal, or physical conduct of a sexual nature...'

_ Section 264(2), Criminal Law of Lagos State

In recent times, I have witnessed two sexual harassment incidents which I think I handled poorly. Personally, I believe that the society has so much watered down harassment to the point where people don't even know when they are being sexually harassed. However, I hope the definition I provided has helped shape a better understanding.

The question is what do I do when I see this happen?
1. Speak up: Reading 'Everyday Sexism' by Laura Bates, I realised that most victims experience trauma when they are harassed in public and no one speaks up. It indirectly shames them and weakens their will.

2. Pay attention: Show signs that will let the aggressor know he/she is being watched. I remember catching a lecturer leer at another course mate and I waited till he made eye contact before glaring at him. Till date, I wonder what went through his mind when he realised I had been watching him.

3. Comfort: Let's be honest, not everyone has the courage to shout back and intimidate the aggressor. But you can help the victim by placating them, don't make a remark that blames them, if possible employ a method of getting their minds away from the horror temporarily.

4. Report: I learnt a lesson early in life that we all don't have the same access to justice. For example, you can happen to know a soldier, police or even the state police commissioner. You can know the workplace of the aggressor and his/her boss can even be your uncle. If you are certain of a channel through which the victim can get justice, lend your helping hand.

In summary, the world is too chaotic for disgusting acts like street harassment to continue. Be a changemaker by taking action each time. Be a source of strength to your neighbour.