5 Lies They Told You

"We all have the same 24 hours"

Do we really?  I think it's more appropriate to add that 'time is money'. This means that money can effectively buy time and lack of money can effectively lessen time. To give you an idea, think of that moment you decided to buy a washing machine instead of hand washing them every Saturday. The best advice is the one that tells you to grow your money so you could buy more time. 

"There's no money in it"

This statement is typically heard when a child tells the parent about the desire to pursue an unconventional career. The irony is that times have changed and a lot of parents are now taking back their words. Money is where it is. Rather than accept that there's no money in your field, look for where the money is in that field. 

"Passion is all you need"

Whenever anyone tells you this, just smile and let it go. In all your passion get skillfulness, diligence, commitment and hardwork. Passion alone cannot sustain you for long. I realised this when I started my internship journey at Amnesty International UK and the Masterclass sessions with Malala. So much work goes into policy and reform, passion for human rights is not enough.

"You can do it later"

Anytime procrastination wants to disguise, it does so in the most soothing and deceitful ways. Why later when you can do it now? Submit that application now. Get your PVC now. Plan your finances now. Travel. Read that book... 

"Everyone is doing it"

This is actually not quite true. Everyone might be into that business of yours but not everyone can do it like you. In fact, no one can. You are more unique than you give yourself credit for. 

For every human created, God expects a different reflection of Him everytime. So you see, you are well able to bring your uniqueness into everything you do to make it outstanding.

Review: Oprah + Viola Netflix Special

 The Oprah + Viola Netflix Special may just be my best interview of the year. Thought-provoking, insightful, authentic and wise words from Viola Davis. I'll share some of my favourites but before that I'll let you know if this interview is something you might find useful. If you fall in any of these categories, run to Netflix with all of your strength😅

1. Teachers 

Viola said "Teachers were my saviours" and I felt that statement down to my bones. Real goosebump moment. I feel teachers most times don't get the recognition they deserve....people in the education sector generally. Teachers play such a pivotal role in the upbringing of children and it should be discussed more often. If you are a teacher, you will feel all warm inside watching this interview.

2. Women

Need I say more? Two confident, successful women who have raised and are still raising the bar for women all over the world. I particularly loved the synergy between these women and the clear respect they had for each other. It really brings a new perspective into 'women supporting women' and I'm here for it!

3. Lovers of Annalise Keating

Viola Davis was the major face of the series 'How to Get Away with Murder' and she bodied that role! It turns out it was quite a journey for Viola too. 

4. Members of 'God when' Association 

Stories of Christian marriages make me smile and I smiled a lot. You'll also love this if you are a big advocate of Christian parenting.

5. Lovers of Memoirs and Biographies 

Viola's Book 'Finding Me' was the major theme of the interview and I think every lover of documentaries, Podcasts, blogs, vlogs and all would love this.

I'm looking forward to watching more interviews like this one in 2022. It's uplifting in a huge way and gives you hope. I also believe that 2022 has shown more than any other, year that there is no perfect being...even your favs are imperfect. So I'm more appreciative of authentic stories these days. Please drop recommendations if any come to mind.

My highlight was this statement Viola quoted;

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." - Anne Lamott

Break the Bias

So I've always battled with a tender scalp. This means I feel excruciating pain when I make my hair or even as little as pack it up when it is undone.

For everytime the pain kept me up at night after making my hair, I would dream of cutting my hair and saying bye to the pain. That always stopped as a thought because I was afraid of looking ugly. So I became unconcerned with the state of my hair and was most times seen in a bandana because I dreaded the pain each time I needed to make my hair.
Years passed and I guess with the years came wisdom and confidence so this weekend with my brother and little cousins standing by my side and my mother and sister on a video call, I cut off the pain. I've never felt more beautiful to be honest.

Break the bias. This theme is for you.
For you who thinks you have to stick in that relationship even if you're facing pain, perhaps scared of being alone.
For you who has not applied for that scholarship because you think you'll not be picked anyways.
For you who struggles with accepting that you are precious, loved and powerful.

Break the bias. Shatter the glass ceilings. We'll be cheering you on.
Happy International Women's Day

A good day to call out News Agencies & Co.

It was a Sunday in May (2nd of May,2021 I think), after church service I was on Instagram trying to catch up happenings round the world. That was when my eyes suddenly caught a post made by Punch Newspaper. Lo and behold, it was the CCTV evidence tendered against Baba Ijesha confirming the sexual abuse of a minor.

I could not even play the video due to the tremor in my fingers. I was extremely shocked and devastated that the heartbreakingly disgusting video was released and there was no attempt to ease the trauma that young girl may have faced. Minutes later, the video was deleted but the video had been circulated to other platforms already.

Apart from the legal issues surrounding this incident, the lack of sensitivity towards the survivor who was a little girl genuinely crippled me and since then I watched Punch Newspaper and other media houses closely. I began to study the pattern of newspaper headlines especially towards gender based violence and was not surprised to observe 0% language sensitivity in some media platforms. Moving on to blogs and vlogs, the story is much worse and it will interest you to know that some of these platforms are run by women.

Media plays a strategic role in either curbing or promoting gender based violence. The Media, as subtle as it may be, has great influence on the way people think and how they respond to issues. We also have a role to play in adjusting the approach the media takes, after all, we are the audience. This has been the concern of UN Women and many other international bodies who have noticed the way gender based violence is being presented all over the world.

If you don't agree with this article, ask yourself why blogs casually threw the words 'rape and 'rapist' in the clash between Burna Boy and Shatte Wale. Some even added jokey emojis. Imagine if the accusation was murder, oh maybe that would have been taken more serious?

I found Love....and almost lost it

I fell in love. Deeply and uncontrollably. Many warned me or tried to but failed, because you know, love conquers all.

It all began 6 years ago when I got admitted into the Faculty of Law, Obafemi Awolowo. I was ecstatic and over the moon. After all, I've been given the chance to connect with my first love, Law. I grew up hating injustice and having a deep sense of purpose to fight it. From afar this looked like what law was about.

As I went from my 1st year, 2nd year to 3rd year, it suddenly dawned on me; "I think I've been scammed, this is not what I signed up for". Talks of how to make money overshadowed everything and to make matters worse, criminal law that I loved became my worst nightmare. I was losing my first love.

How did I hold on to my true love? I began to evolve beyond the four (in some cases six) walls of the lecture halls. Short courses(one even took me out of the country), trainings, conferences, mentorship, research and many others restored this love and added extra for good measure.

The real scam I have come to believe, is people telling me 'follow what you love'. Somehow I had the illusion that love was all I needed and that it will somehow make the job easier. I strongly believe that in spite of love, you have to put in the work. Continue to add spark to what you love, continue to evolve, continue to sustain fascination and never be afraid to explore unchartered territories.

After all, you have to water love to watch it grow.

Introduction

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Welcome to this space. My name is Heritage Sanmi-Lawal and after much deliberations, I started an initiative called Her Dream Initiative recently.

In Nigeria and several other countries of the world, I have noticed the need for women and girls to be empowered and advocated for, now more than ever. And this is why I created this blog.

This is a space where I'll bring to your attention certain topics concerning women, which could in turn be a form of advocacy and community development. Additionally, this blog will aid Her Dream Initiative with advocacy and research.